The Black Kitten: Nobility - Sacrifice - Chocolate ([info]laylah) wrote in [info]fma_yuri,
2005-07-22 11:17:00
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  • Mood: determined

triple drabble: "Dyke," Hawkeye/Ross

Wrote this mostly on the train this morning, thinking about how hard it is to have a queer relationship in an unsupportive environment. Like, you know, the military. 300 words, worksafe except for mild language, Hawkeye/Ross established relationship.


* * *

Maria’s trembling with rage, almost in tears by the time she gets home. Riza is already there, chopping vegetables to make dinner, and Maria drops her coat by the door so she can wrap her arms around Riza’s waist and breathe in her warm scent.

“What’s the matter?” Riza asks, fingers stroking Maria’s hair. “You’re shaking.”

“Just -- just Broche and his stupid friends. How do you stand it? The things they say.” The tears spill over despite her best efforts, making her angrier. “I mean, I’m used to them being...like that, in general. But they were talking about you, this time. They said you were --”

“A dyke, and a ballbuster,” Riza interrupts quietly. “Ugly, a bitch, cold, unfeminine, only like this because I’ve never had a real man.” Maria pulls back so she can see Riza’s face: she’s smiling wryly, but it doesn’t touch her eyes. “Did I miss any?”

Maria takes a shaky breath, trying to calm down. “How do you stand it? I just want to run. I want to get away from all of them, never look back....”

“I’m sorry,” Riza says. “I wish I could tell you it’ll get better. I wish I could tell you it won’t get worse, when they find out about you.” She wipes Maria’s tears away. Her eyes are warm and focused, her back straight. She looks so proud. “But all I can say is that I’m a soldier, and I’m not going to run from this fight. I’m not going to flee from some petty, overgrown boys who think they know the first damn thing about me.” She laces her fingers with Maria’s and squeezes gently. “I’m staying right here, and I want you with me.”

Her strength has never been so beautiful. “I’m with you,” Maria says.

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  • 21 comments

[info]lenihanfighter

July 22 2005, 17:41:39 UTC 6 years ago

*a long moment of silence* *then bows in profound respect* Wonderful work. Honestly. I've been looking forward to a piece of work, where such a relationship isn't automatically accepted. Not that I have anything against (I wouldn't be in this community otherwise), but it's still a fact that gay people are not automatically accepted for what they are.

That's why I love this: because it's so realistic. I feel sorry for both Liza and Maria, that they have to live in such a harsh environment. It makes my heart skip a beat or two, however, that neither women are willing to flee just because of "some petty, overgrown boys" think they know everything, to quote Liza from your story.

Wonderful story and definitely one of my favourites. Good work. *bows again for this masterpiece*

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 17:56:34 UTC 6 years ago

...Thank you very much. This was probably one of the most personal pieces I've written in a long time, and it's been absolutely heartwarming to get such wonderful feedback here and on my journal. Makes it that much easier to be brave and keep fighting. ^__^

[info]lenihanfighter

July 22 2005, 18:18:25 UTC 6 years ago

Forgive me if I seem too curious or anything, but when you say "one of the most personal pieces I've written", does this mean you've been in the same situation as well? Because in that case, I wish you good luck and all my support for the fighting. *nods* *hugs*

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 18:29:37 UTC 6 years ago

I'm lucky in that my immediate social & work environment is more supportive than Riza & Maria's, but being queer in ever-more-conservative-america lately is no cakewalk, even so. *hugs* Thank you so much for your kind words.

[info]lenihanfighter

July 22 2005, 18:37:09 UTC 6 years ago

*hugs* You're welcome. I'm lucky to be born in one of those countries where this is more or less accepted by the general population, but even then it's still hard. It's good to hear your immediate social and work environment doesn't mind it, though. *nods* They are still more important to you than some people at the other end of the country who doesn't like you just because of that.

*hugs again* Good luck with everything. ^^;

[info]foxipher

July 22 2005, 19:16:22 UTC 6 years ago

Agreed. Being queer now-a-days isn't easy. Even if you're bi, people assume promiscuity and shallowness.

I hate the label "bisexual". I prefer queer or sovereign.

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 19:23:06 UTC 6 years ago

*nod* I identify as queer, too, because it's such a blurry label, and I like that. Hadn't heard "sovereign" before -- that's awesome.

[info]foxipher

July 22 2005, 19:24:17 UTC 6 years ago

There's a link in the top entry of my LJ.

BTW, what's your IM name? I'd love to get to know you more. ^_^

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 21:49:36 UTC 6 years ago

*sniffles* Holy scarlet queen, I love Hanne Blank. I'd never read that one before.
...I think I'm going to send the link to my mother.

I'm weeblecat on AIM, but I'm not on very often. You?

[info]foxipher

July 22 2005, 21:50:45 UTC 6 years ago

Joizey Jacobs. ^_^ Remnant of an old fandom that I'm too used to to get rid of. lol

[info]foxipher

July 22 2005, 19:15:13 UTC 6 years ago

I love your icon...do you know where I can the image used for it?

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 19:21:32 UTC 6 years ago

I actually don't know -- I didn't make this one. I got it from [info]and_release, which is the icon journal of [info]tears_priestess, so maybe she could tell you. ^_^

[info]foxipher

July 22 2005, 19:22:25 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you. ^_^

[info]malika

July 22 2005, 18:31:08 UTC 6 years ago

just -- ::speechless:: this feels really personal, and I can't really find a way to comment on this without having it turn into gibberish. this makes me sad and happy at the same time. ;_;

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 18:41:37 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you. ^_^ It was pretty personal, in that "giving myself a pep talk" way, and I'm glad that it came out as, well, effective as it has.

[info]satanhatesyu

July 22 2005, 19:41:29 UTC 6 years ago

i 2nd all of that =^_^=

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 21:36:02 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you. ^_^

[info]foxipher

July 22 2005, 19:17:02 UTC 6 years ago

I really adore this drabble. It's the most real fanfiction I've read in a while. Thank you.

[info]laylah

July 22 2005, 19:22:20 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you. I'm really touched at the response it's gotten. ^_^

[info]theburrahobbit

July 24 2005, 21:53:42 UTC 6 years ago

I liked this - bringing up things like this is good, I think. I've often missed an actual look of how characters would react to the probable homophobia that thre is in Amestris in the fandom - mostly people do the smut and jump over all the other stuff. There ought to be more like this, actually looking at the situation from alot of perspecitves, pointing at problems that there might be and not making it so two-dimensional as it's sadly usually done.

Furthermore, I so identify with Ross here. She's so great.

[info]i_found_jesu

August 17 2005, 01:32:01 UTC 6 years ago

Great piece of work you have here. It's nice to read a piece that isn't all-smut-no-problems. :)
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